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Betty's only been busting her ass at a high fashion mag for, what, 3 or 4 years now? And sister owns a beauty salon? Hasn't crossed Betty's mind even once to thin that mess out with layers, or maybe pick up a flat iron?

Also, when the hell are those braces coming off? What sort of crooked mess takes 4 adult years to fix? Invisalign hasn't hit Mode mag's radar yet?

Me either. But it happened.

(circa 1984, via)

• A British couple tied the knot in an elaborate Shrek-themed wedding. (via Best Week Ever)
  
  
• Here's a video of a monkey trained in karate. (via Paul Scheer)
  
  
• Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester scored a record deal. (via L Magazine)
  
  
• Silence of the Lambs remade as a Lego opera? (via Let's Get Tight)
  
  
• The new CEO of Myspace is a former Facebook executive. (via Mashable)
  
  
• Mashable rounds up 24 daily Twitter memes.
  
  
• New York's alcohol tax is about to increase. (via NY Barfly)
  
  
• Terrence Howard angrily spoke out about being replaced by Don Cheadle in Iron Man 2. (via NY Mag Vulture)
  
  
• New "Green" pizza box breaks down into plates & a storage container. (via Slice)
  
  
• A [weirdly bad] movie poster was released for the new Madoff biopic. (via NY Mag Daily Intel)
  
  
• A newly-designed racecar is made from produce and powered by chocolate. (via PSFK)
  
  
• Musicians: Here's 8 reasons to release a follow-up EP. (via Music Think Tank)

It is not weird at all to spend time drawing up a list like this.

1. Jamaican couple next door that wakes up extra-early lately to argue & yell "For WHAT? For WHAT?" 1 hour before my alarm goes off
   
   
2. Jamaican couple's toddler who f'ing WAILS about not wanting to go wherever they're going every time she leaves the apartment
   
   
3. Linebacker-sized Dads at the Nada Surf show who blocked my view & then asked me, "Wanna be on the internet?"
   
   
4. James Franco for never having sex with me
   
   
5. Pajamagrams
   
   
6. Parents of former classmates I didn't know friend-requesting me over & over on Facebook
   
   
7. My dinosaur necklace, for actually being a lizard necklace
   
   
8. Batman, the Dark Knight
   
   
9. New Jersey guido dudes
   
   
10. Charlotte Gainsbourg for being 100x more beautiful & awesome than me
    
    
11. My embarrassing desktop computer's refusal to die, thus preventing my laptop dreamz from coming true
    
    
12. Morning Boy, whatever
    
    
13. Dude who danced around my building with a boom box for 2-3 hours
    
    
14. British dudes, I guess

Support small, local businesses by checking out these items & others for sale in these Brooklyn-based Etsy shops!

• Gold leather belt pouch, $70 from callieco
  
• B&W leather saddle shoe wingtips, $32 from dustyrosevintage
  
• Whale tote bag, $25 from charlieandsarah

• 1970's Italian oversized sunglasses, $24 from FashionRerun
  
• Printed Pashmina scarf, $35 from SheenaSood
  
• Couture graffiti bracelet, $35 from beebles

• Glossy silk headband, $15 from felixandpaco
  
• Large tote, $35 from Marysavel
  
• Orange You Glad cowl scarflette, $25 from SweetBuddha

• Adeline cuff -- aubergine, $22 from skywatcher1121
  
• Canvas wadada, $18 from sealmaiden
  
• Nekkin' brace, $40 from ruffeoheartslilsnoty

Previously on SARAHSPY:
-- Brooklyn on Etsy! Apartment decor edition
-- Brooklyn on Etsy! Pretty jewelry edition
-- I recently found out my badass dinosaur necklace is actually a lizard
-- Pajamagram is a total ripoff, and I sure wish I'd thought of it first

My choices are narrowed down to these ones, finally. Just having trouble deciding between them. Help??

• An Australian performance artist had an ear implanted on his arm. (via Tagbanger)
  
  
• Bill Murray accidentally sent a woman to the hospital, via a golf ball to the head. (via ESPN)
  
  
• Tuna will be wiped out by 2012 if overfishing does not stop. (via Daily Mail)
  
  
• The chestnut tree Anne Frank wrote about in her diary is dying-- but ten of its saplings will be planted across the nation to commemorate it. (via the NY Times)
  
  
• Here's hilariously apt fake subway signage, posted by a G-train rider. (via Gothamist)
  
  
• Fiona Garnder's photographs of NYC's Miss Subways (1941-1976) debut at Rush Gallery this weekend. (via Bust Mag blog)
  
  
• A new pet-only airline prepares for takeoff. (via UPI)
  
  
• Cookie Monster & a pink gorilla have been spotted performing on subway platforms. (via Everyanything)
  
  
• Why does cilantro tastes different to different people? (via NPR)
  
  
• Is PETA activist Pamela Anderson opening a strip club/steakhouse? (via the LA Times)
  
  
• South Korea has labeled wider, easier to pull into parking spots pink for women drivers. (via Contexts)
  
  
• In 2012, the Titanic II will retrace the original's path for those willing to pay $3k. (via Gothamist)
  
  
• Here's a preliminary schedule of bands playing free shows at the Seaport this summer. (via Brooklyn Vegan)
  
  
• Wired posted the list of 2009 Webby Awards nominees.
  
  
• A new reality TV show is looking to cast working bartenders. (via NY Barfly)
  
  
• Payless is debuting a new line of organic shoes. (via PSFK)
  
  
• A widow is publishing a book of text messages that she sent to her dead husband's cell phone. (via Boing Boing)
  
  
• A Russian man found a fir tree growing in his lung. (via IO9)
  
  
• The man who wrote "Never Gonna Give You Up" has accused Google of exploitation, since he only made $16 off the Rickrolling phenomenon. (via CNet)
  
  
• Justin Timberlake and Lupe Fiasco plan to climb Mt Kilimanjaro for charity later this year. (via Angry Ape)
  
  
• Philippe Petit-- the infamous Man on Wire-- is planning another Manhattan high-wire walk for Fall 2009. (via Gothamist)

"Just because something's uncomfortable doesn't mean it's wrong. And just because you have your doubts about what you're doing, or you don't trust yourself 100 percent, that's normal. There's this illusion that people who do stuff are totally confident, and I've never been. I've been riddled with doubt through the whole thing. You know, with a few flashes of maybe, MAYBE this will be great."

--Miranda July, interviewed in ReadyMade mag



This aged little magazine quote clipping has been taped to my computer monitor for over a year. I read it whenever I'm stuck hating myself too much to be any kind of productive. It helps.

Love this lil dude. I've already stolen so many new dance moves from his growing video collection.

(via Aziz / Molls)


Previous video hilarity on SARAHSPY:
-- Bert and Ernie give gangsta rap a try
-- Sure is fun mocking cheesy New Jersey guido dudes
-- Sometimes when I get a little sad, I watch this video of Thom Yorke laughing
-- Two old Russian ladies beating each other with purses

My hugest regret in this life is the time me & my then-boyfriend decided we'd prefer to watch BBC Office & argue about whether or not I had earlier insinuated he would go bald one day than attend the Wrens Planned Parenthood benefit show we had tix for (circa late '06?). We were all, "Staying in's more what I'm in the mood for. Let's consider our tix donations to a good cause."

Then, the next day, my roommate was like, "OMG all I've been reading about all day long, online & everywhere, is how you losers missed the BEST SHOW THAT EVER HAPPENED IN NEW YORK CITY!!" And I was like, "Hey thanks for that info! I don't think I even had sex last night thanks to that fight we had about hairlines."

Point is, all three people in this story are total assholes. And I have learned my lesson now, regarding whether or not I should go to Wrens shows.

Video above is from Friday's Bell House show-- which was so great-- courtesy of Nick's 100 Bands in 100 Days project. At 0:42-ish, catch me boppin around like a huge loser in a yellow t-shirt.

I had to apologize to Nick after the show for "the accidental ass-grab" when I helped lift him to the stage. He accepted my apology & seemed to be an all-around nice dude-- as it seems most Wrens fans are.

Only exception were the 3 dipshits from South Jersey next to me, who shouted encouragement to band members by name as if they were at a kid's Pee-Wee Football game. "Work those pedals, Kevin!" they said, or "Nice job there, Charles!" I especially enjoyed when the dude who smelled like 400 cigarettes leaned towards me during the quietest, most prettiest piano part & goes, "Meadowlands is the best album ever recorded, like, of alltime." I wanted to say, "I DISAGREE. IT BLOWS. LET'S TALK OVER THIS ENTIRE SONG TOGETHER." But instead I just said, "Yep."

The Wrens' Bell House set list was roughly identical to their show at Bowery Ballroom last month, which I attended with My Pal Ray. They again played the new song below-- which I still don't know the name of, but recognized after obsessively replaying the video below (via dontstaylong) approximately 9 thousand times since Bowery.



<3 <3 <3


Previously on SARAHSPY:
-- Could it be? Yeasayer = the best band I've seen live this year?
-- That Bon Iver guy inspires me 24 hours a day
-- I was too tired to see Margot & the Nuclear So and So's last night, so My Pal Ray took photos
-- Thank you APW for reminding me that Radiohead is the greatest band that ever lived

• Happy National grilled cheese month! (via Serious Eats)
  
  
• Music festivals appear to be selling tickets at normal rates, despite the recession. (via Billboard)
  
  
• A former Power Ranger actor was sentenced to death for a double homicide on a yacht. (via Fox News)
  
  
• Amazon is offering discount subscriptions to Time Out New York (and others) through April 30. (via Bumpershine)
  
  
• The Deli's Best of NY Festival posted its band line-up. (via Bumpershine)
  
  
• Visa will introduce a credit card that is embedded only in your cell phone. (via the New York Times)
  
  
• Lil Jon's new cell phone number is apparently Miley Cyrus's old one. (via Money Cash Ho's)
  
  
• Colorado officials blocked an application for an "I LV TOFU" license plate, fearing an X-rated misinterpretation. (via Yahoo! News)
  
  
• Rainn Wilson met up with Rivers Cuomo to cover Joan Osbourne's hit song "One of Us," and Stereogum has video.
  
  
• Mashable compiled the 10 most extraordinary Twitter updates.
  
  
• Meghan McCain scored a six-figure book deal. (via NY Mag Daily Intel)
  
  
• In-store performances nationwide are scheduled to celebrate Record Store Day on April 18. (via Bust Mag blog)
  
  
• Brooklyn Indie Market celebrates 3 years of operation with this year's debut. (via Bust Mag Blog)
  
  
• Can marijuana cure brain cancer? (via Gawker)
  
  
• Jauntsetter rounds up several travel deals New Yorkers shouldn't miss.
  
  
• Quentin Tarantino will coach contestants' movie-themed song choices on this week's American Idol. (via Daily Beast)
  
  
• Amir of College Humor had his umbrella stolen by a creative thief. (via Being Famous)
  
  
• Win 12 newly pressed/released Radiohead albums on vinyl via Gorilla vs. Bear's Twitter-based contest.